Today I find myself basking in the fluorescent glow of Target’s massive house of treasures. Of course, I have an idea of what I think I want; a very specific and short list, however, the power of the red and white circle has a way of overpowering its shopper into getting way more than they thought they needed. As I survey the area of all the potential goodies I wish to buy for my family for Christmas, I begin to think about the kind of year I went through and wonder: just how did I get here?

For me, it started out as a year of hopelessness, pain, and a ceaseless road of challenges. At the same time, it was also a year of incredible love and support, and ultimately one that showed me how truly lucky I was. The realist in me knows that I have it so so so much better than billions of other people in this world but in my little microcosm of a world, I think about how my world had been completely turned upside down this year.

I suppose I will start at the beginning…

It started at the height of last year’s holiday season. My girlfriend and I took a much overdue trip to Disneyland, a place I hadn’t been to since I was four years old. For the longest time, I had an unsubstantiated prejudice against the dressed up Mickeys, Minnies, and Goofys with the ridiculous theory that there was a person of questionable behavior underneath that suit. Perhaps I watched a bit too much South Park in my developmental years… While I still cautiously kept my distance from those giant Disney characters, I very soon found out the exact opposite of my fears and truly discovered why it was called “the happiest place on earth”. I got to relive many of my childhood memories and be overtaken with a sense of joy and an smh moment of “what was I thinking all this time?”.

It was about three days into our stay and we were walking through California Adventure when I got a call from the company where I was working at the time. It was definitely unusual to get a call from my company unless it was one of my direct colleagues, however, something seemed off knowing that they knew I was on vacation. Against my better judgment, I decided to answer the call, which consisted of three senior members of the company, who were calling from one of the office conference rooms, which they wanted to make abundantly clear. For the sake of the joyous season, I’m going to change the language up a bit and summarize the conversation.

“Congratulations,” the most senior manager said. “You just lost your job due to ‘company downsizing’ (I’m sure there were air quotes used) and despite your seniority, you didn’t make the cut.”

“Umm, thank you?” I responded. And so after 5 years with the company, that was that.

Now at this time, I was pursuing a career in Product Management with the intention of helping build my company’s internal software tools and ultimately driving customer traffic through to the site, however at this time, I was relegated to a support role helping my colleagues with technical support questions, which apparently wasn’t as critical of a function of the desired role I wanted. Regardless, I shut up and did the work I was asked to do but that moment right there puts my career to a screeching halt.

As I sat in a daze sipping on a Dark n’ Stormy at the Trader Sam’s Enchanted Tiki Bar, I realized I had a very uncertain future ahead of me. I felt obligated to share the “good” news with my family and friends. Given my experience, I thought I should be able to get back on the horse right away but boy was I wrong. I realized how out of touch I was towards the competitive nature of my business in the San Francisco Bay Area. It became abundantly clear that many of the best and brightest in the world were coming to San Francisco to do the exact same job I was doing albeit with a computer science degree from Stanford or an MBA from some other Ivy League school, or the many mid-western Michiganites and Ohioans, coming out here in droves with “purpose” all the while I sort of stumbled into this field with a Humanities degree from a State school.

As 2016 rolled in, I found myself feeling the undesired effects of (f)unemployment. Fortunately, my millennial whining finally reached the ears of one of my high school friend’s fathers, who was looking for some part time work in his flower business so I received a call from him asking to see if I wanted to help him in his warehouse and help deliver product to his accounts. This I saw as a welcome opportunity to briefly step away from the techie dance and do something a little bit healthier for my sanity. The great part was I was able to see parts of San Francisco I wouldn’t normally get to see by having access to all the back rooms and VIP areas of established businesses and setting up arrangements pre and post events. Granted, I hit an all-time record of most dead bodies seen in one year due to the deliveries I made to various funeral homes but ultimately I got to see an incredibly diverse range of businesses and truly appreciate the nuances of interior decoration.

Well, summer comes a knocking at my door way too fast. Just a warning, this next part might get a little gross so proceed at your own risk… This part of the story is where we have to literally dive under the skin as, during this time of my soul searching, my health began to fail me. With every day, I was in more and more pain in my abdomen and I was having difficulty urinating, so much so it made physically working very hard to do. All the while, I was barely eating and was continuously deteriorating a few pounds a week. It was one night after my fourth attempt to piss in the middle of the night where I woke up and had had enough. I went and saw my doctor and had several scans of my abdomen and finally discovered that there was an abscess so thick in my intestinal wall that it caused an unnatural burrowing into my bladder. Needless to say, I had to get this area surgically repaired and parts of it removed or else things could have gotten really bad.

Unfortunately, I had to leave my job at the flower business and give my health its undivided attention. It wasn’t until the first week of September where I went under the knife and had 40cm of my small intestine and colon removed. The surgery was a success, albeit I have a nice 6-inch scar right below my belly button. Chicks dig the scars, right? While this experience was traumatic on my body, this can be marked as the turning point in my year. This was a year of extreme underemployment and more often than not, unemployment. I had to put my life on hold to ensure I could be healthy again but I lost most of the summer and well into the Holiday season as I try to get back on track.

Well, I’m happy to say that this year is ending on a very positive note. I think about when I was laying in my hospital bed after my surgery and how lucky I am to have some great people in my life. My family and friends were all there for me in my darkest moments but one particular person was there for me when most women would have run for the hills. I knew that I wanted to keep this person in my life. Through all the trials and tribulations of the year, my girlfriend Angela was there for me. We just celebrated her 30th birthday where I took her out to the Oakland Zoo because her favorite animal is the elephant. It wasn’t until we got to the elephant exhibit where I asked her a very important question…

Long story short, she said YES!

Happy Holidays and Wonderful New Year to you all!